RT @stewteee: My grandma died running the London marathon.
I was going to make a joke about it.
But just Like Grandma I won't be crossing… 12:23 PM Oct 25th
RT @PossiblyDrunk87: I make bad decisions about 98% of the time, but the other 3% of the time I make colossally bad decisions. 12:22 PM Oct 25th
RT @PossiblyDrunk87: Rita from HR: one of the guys said you called him an Idiot.
Me: sounds about right
Rita: why did you call him an idi… 12:14 PM Oct 25th
RT @LibraryLydia: I’ve seen plenty of “the girl saves the guy” trope role-reversals but I’m waiting for it to be followed up by the dude te… 5:39 AM Aug 8th
RT @wasteIandbaby: why is this video of a sea of elementary school kids going HAM to old town road literally the funniest video i’ve ever s… 3:57 AM Jun 1st
RT @MikahWyman: Is the trick to comedy admitting you are a bad person over and over but getting people to like you anyway? Because I can on… 1:20 AM May 26th
RT @DustinNickerson: Listen I don’t mean to judge but I don’t think I could ever be friends with the person that jogs in place waiting for… 3:12 PM May 15th
RT @DustinNickerson: Flight attendant: cookies? crackers?
Woman in 17B: neither. I’m gluten free
Entire rest of plane
🙄🙄🙄| |🙄🙄🙄
🙄🙄🙄| |… 5:41 PM May 7th
RT @Melchett: My wife just said to me, ‘Turn the dishwasher on’. I replied, ‘I don’t think I’m it’s type’.
I am SO proud of myself right… 1:54 PM Apr 9th
